Hands Down the Hardest Day of My Life

On the agenda for July 3, 2012 we planned going to House of Compassion to run the medical clinic and then have a concert at Mercy Home with the children from House of Compassion and Mercy Home. I knew going into this day that it was going to be so much fun with a lot of love but also difficult because I would have to say goodbye. Honestly I don't think I was prepared for it. I thought I was at the time but events happened that make me happy and also sad now that I am back in America. Anyways, I will explain that more when I get to it.

So I woke up and looked outside. This is what I saw:

Person Sleeping Outside

This was very sad. I see this everywhere I go in India, people sleeping outside, especially in the middle of roads. It is crazy.

When we got to House of Compassion, Chandu was the first out the door again. He ran over to me with a huge grin. In his hands he had a garland necklace made of flowers. This was their way of welcoming us. He put it over my head and grabbed my hand. He smiled the whole time. He led me inside to the chair next to him again. He sat right next to me on the floor. He made sure I was as close to him as possible. They sang some songs for us.

Great Picture! (Chandu and Ganesh)

After the children sang for us, we moved to the living room where the donations from Back2Back were laying. We prayed with the children and the house parents. Then we gave the gifts to the kids. They were so excited to see what they got. They kept pointing at everything inside their bags and wanting me to open it for them.

Chandu and Amulya Praying

Receiving Gifts

House of Compassion with Gifts

Chandu and His Gifts

Us with House of Compassion

 We had a few minutes to play with the kids before they took us to the home that is being built for them. At this point I brought out some gifts I made. I gave Chandu and Ganesh the washer necklaces with their names on them. They were beyond excited! They kept giving me hugs and looking at them. I also had several hats that I gave to a bunch of the boys. They were also a hit.

Ganesh, Me, Chandu

Me and Chandu, Love Him

Ganesh and Me

Samuel and Chandu

Rockin' Shades

Loving Their Hats

There is Something About This Picture

There was a gift for House of Compassion that all of us were really excited about. They got a washer for their clothes!!! Now they don't have to do it by hand. It is such a blessing!

So Happy for Them

After that they wanted to show us the progress on the house that is being built for them. Chandu walked me there by hand. He was so proud of his necklace. He kept looking at it over and over again. We got to the building and went inside. He took me to the carved doors that will be inside the house and wanted to get a picture with them.

Me and Chandu with Carved Wood Doors

Ganesh with Carved Wood Doors

We were led outside and they wanted each of us to lay a brick. I can't explain the amount of respect that is felt in the presence of House of Compassion. You can definitely feel their appreciation.

Me Laying a Brick

I was able to get a short video of Ganesh and Chandu practicing their English introductions. Check it out below:

A great picture of the doctor with his little buddy is below.

We went back to the house and had lunch. Then we set up the medical supplies and got everything ready for the clinic. I again was in charge of the paperwork, getting all the info from the children and translators. I liked that a lot because I can put a name with their faces. The only thing is I saw their faces when they were explaining their family history. The frowns and sadness I saw when they said that they were total orphans or semi-orphan but their father or mother had abandoned them was unbearable. I had to stay strong for them though and I did. It wasn't easy. We had everyone finished with the paperwork so we waited till the doctor was ready to see patients.

I found out that Chandu and Ganesh are brothers, which makes sense now because Ganesh is always looking out for Chandu. They lost their mother. I about broke down when I saw little Chandu say his mother was dead. I will always remember his face. I will also remember Samuel's when he told us that both of his parents are gone. Going into trips like these you know that the children are orphans but don't expect to hear individual stories. I got to those few days, and it was fitting because I knew I wanted to be over there full-time with the children. I connected with them on a deeper level.

I was able to spend some time with them while they were waiting for the clinic. At that time I read my letter to Chandu and had it translated to him. My letter said that I loved him, I believe in him, have faith in God, and work hard. He bobbled his head as he understood. He smiled. He then started to write me a letter with the help of his brother, Ganesh, and the translator. She kept asking him what he wanted to say, and she would write it down in English. He could then copy it himself so I would have it in his handwriting. The translator started explaining to me that he said he loved me and wanted me to know that. He couldn't think of anything else to say for awhile except that he loved me. That was perfect for me though. I just wanted him to know that I loved him and the fact that he loved me too was everything. I truly feel like I have hundreds of my own children over in India. I care for them so deeply. I would do anything for them. He continued thanking me for the gifts, telling me he always remembers me, wishes I was there EVERY day to play with him, and that he liked my shirt. Below are some pictures.

"Anna" Means Brother

Ganesh Helping Him Write

He presented the letter to me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. It was one of the happiest moments of my life. Who would have thought that an extremely poor Indian orphan boy would be such a big part of my life, that I would come to love many 8,000 miles from home? I am so glad it has happened.

I had one more gift for Chandu. It was a water bottle carrier that my mom and I made for him. I got it out of my backpack. He was amazed. He loved it of course. I had him try it on so my mom could see him with it.

Chandu and His Water Bottle Carrier

Chandu, His Water Bottle Carrier, and Me

 The medical check-ups went well! I found out that Chandu has an umbilical hernia and that it needs to be watched. I hope it heals on its own. I will be thinking about that a lot now that I know of it. It has to be so painful for him. We played with the kids some more. They got cleaned up and changed into their new uniforms. They all looked so good! Below is a video of how they get cleaned up.

Ganesh and Me

I asked Chandu and Ganesh where their belongings were in the room. They went to a corner where there were some shelves. They each had a shelf for their things. I saw about two outfits per child. What really disgusted me were the ants that were crawling all over their clothes. I am going to have to figure out how to solve that problem because no child should have to deal with that. Once again it just showed the poverty.

Once they had changed into their new outfits they wanted some pictures.

Ganesh, Me, and Chandu

Tickling Chandu

House of Compassion in Their New Outfits!

I was able to take a video of them to show their appreciation.

The concert at Mercy Home was starting soon so we had to leave. We told everyone we would see them in a little bit for the concert. When we got to Mercy Home I went on top of the roof and talked to another group member about what had just happened with the letter and everything. I expressed my longing to help these children in a more permanent way and not just short-term like I have been doing. I was really encouraged by the conversation. I am ready to fight for these children.

The concert started about an hour later than was scheduled, which is probably on time for Indians. It was okay because House of Compassion had come and we hung out with them some more.

Chandu Rockin' Shades

Chandu, Me, Suman

Chandu, Me, Ganesh

Ready For the Concert

Ganesh With Shades

The concert was amazing. They didn't just sing during it. They also had a puppet show and some skits. All of the kids were laughing hysterically. What was moving about the concert, however, was the alter call. Every child was praying out loud asking for help. They were literally crying for help. We went around and prayed over the children. Of course they couldn't understand exactly what we were saying but they knew that we cared for them. All the pain and sorrows they were feeling were coming to the surface. It was a very emotional time. I could feel God's presence so strongly.

When it had finished all of the children were dismissed for dinner. Everyone was eating together that night. I love when we do that. We are all family. We are all in it together. Before Chandu went downstairs, he pulled on my leg and looked at me with a sense of urgency. He had a very distressed look on his face. He lifted his hand and opened it. His necklace had broken :( One of the chain links had come a little undone. He wouldn't go downstairs until I fixed it. Before I knew it I had a huge group of kids surrounding me. They all thought I was giving Chandu a gift at that moment. They all wanted one too. I would make them all one if I knew all of their names! I was able to fix his necklace thank goodness. He was much happier then.

We went downstairs to our dinner which was mutton, lemon rice, chapati, and some sort of chicken. It was great to interact with everyone. Right after dinner I knew the time was coming so I made every minute count. I knew I was going to have to say goodbye to House of Compassion. I didn't know this time when I would see them next. Already my heart was being stirred and I hadn't said goodbye yet. I went over to the kids to hang out with them just a little more. Chandu and Ganesh both said they loved me in their language, Telugu. Nenu Ninnu Premistunannu. Over and over again. I said it back to them in Telugu. They kept leaning on me and holding onto me as much as they could. They didn't know that this was the last goodbye of the trip until Ganesh asked, "Back to America?" I told him, "Repu," which in Telugu means tomorrow. He looked at me with a frown immediately stamped on his face. He explained to Chandu. They both drew me in closer and said they loved me again. They both said, "No go America!" I held them for as long as I could until it was past time for me to go upstairs. I grabbed both of their hands and led them to the stairs where I said my final goodbye. We got in as many hugs as possible. I told them in Telugu that I would miss them. They said the same thing back. We said we loved each other again. I started to go up the stairs and they kept moving so as I moved and curved up the stairs, they could still see me and wave bye. I looked down at Chandu and he saw my face. I was about to cry. I held it back but he knew. His smile turned to a face of someone that is heartbroken. That was the last time I saw him.

Not Wanting to Say Bye

As Close as Can Be

Love This

Chandu Isn't Happy About Me Leaving

Me and Ganesh

Love Them All So Much

I stopped right outside the room our group was supposed to meet. I just kept thinking about what happened, the goodbye. I stared out the window into the night and tears were forming. One of the group members was coming up the stairs and asked if I needed a hug. I hugged this person and broke down. I couldn't take it anymore. The tears were flowing. I regained my composure after a minute or so and went into the room. Still I was feeling overwhelmed that someone asked if I needed a moment. I ran upstairs to the roof. I sat down and sobbed. I haven't cried that much in awhile. I prayed to God about how this was the hardest thing I have ever done, but also the most satisfying. I thought about how these kids are now depending on me. They didn't have parents before or a family but now I am considered part of their family. I thought about the letter Chandu had written me saying that he wanted me to be there every day to play with him. I have never desired something so much in my life. I want to be with these children all the time. I now consider them my family as well.

We all shared our days with each other in our group. I broke down again. I am so blessed to have people that I can process these issues with and who can relate. God is great!